I miss my church so much. I miss it constantly, I miss it when I’m at my new church, I miss it when I wander upon its posts online. I miss it randomly, without apparent trigger. I had such a purpose, such an intentional path there. I miss it so deeply. I long for it. I long for the family I once was a part of, the joy I shared in, the mission I worked for. That all was torn away from me though, by the astoundingly damaging actions of someone else, one single other person. Their crulty stole away what was, and is, such a large part of my heart. Then I moved again, and time passed, and things changed. And though I long for my church, though I long for who I was there, I can’t have that back. Instead I move forward separately, and I look to God to lead me back to who I was within that community. I keep optimism, I keep hope, I keep faith, I trust God. But, sometimes it hurts still - very deeply. And there is just nothing to be done about that.